Rocker's Cock Rocks Out
Damn near two weeks since I've even looked at this thing. Between working full time and going to school half time I haven't had time to have an idea let alone write one down.
Many apologies to my adoring fan base. I've let you down. I'm letting you down again today too, as a matter of fact. I haven't a single coherent thought to put down here. So, I'm hoping you can amuse yourselves with this article found at the always entertaining www.suck-my-pimply-white-ass-you-fucking-scum-news.org.
LOS ANGELES (AP)-Rocker Tommy Lee's penis rotted and broke off yesterday at a Cambodian whorehouse during a three day suck and fuck session. Paramedics rushed the rocker to St. Peter-Paul-Mary-Sinai Hospital in the hopes of reattaching the member. Sadly microsurgery was not an option.
"We see this kind of thing all the time," said Frank Munger of the Los Angeles Ambulance Service, "Mostly it happens to actors and rock stars. After years of sticking it in every warm hole they see their dicks just get so crudded up they take on the consistency of a banana you left on top of your fridge for eight months. When it gets to that point there nothing you can do. I mean, the damn thing splattered when it hit the floor. I'm surprised it stayed on this long."
When asked what other famous celebrities this had happened to Munger declined comment.
"We really aren't suppose to talk about it to the press." said Munger, "It's a very private matter. But in this case, it's Tommy Lee we're talking about and, honestly, fuck that guy."
Lee is best known for having helped poison the collective subconscious of an entire nation as the talentless asshead drummer of motley Crue. In more recent years Lee gained renown for spreading stupidity as a famous person who keeps appearing on television for no discernible reason.
When this reporter asked Lee what he planned to do after this horrible personal tragedy the rocker responded, "AAAAHHHHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHGGGGG!!!!! WHYYYYYYYY!!!" And then proceeded to shit on himself and cry like a bitch.
Many apologies to my adoring fan base. I've let you down. I'm letting you down again today too, as a matter of fact. I haven't a single coherent thought to put down here. So, I'm hoping you can amuse yourselves with this article found at the always entertaining www.suck-my-pimply-white-ass-you-fucking-scum-news.org.
LOS ANGELES (AP)-Rocker Tommy Lee's penis rotted and broke off yesterday at a Cambodian whorehouse during a three day suck and fuck session. Paramedics rushed the rocker to St. Peter-Paul-Mary-Sinai Hospital in the hopes of reattaching the member. Sadly microsurgery was not an option.
"We see this kind of thing all the time," said Frank Munger of the Los Angeles Ambulance Service, "Mostly it happens to actors and rock stars. After years of sticking it in every warm hole they see their dicks just get so crudded up they take on the consistency of a banana you left on top of your fridge for eight months. When it gets to that point there nothing you can do. I mean, the damn thing splattered when it hit the floor. I'm surprised it stayed on this long."
When asked what other famous celebrities this had happened to Munger declined comment.
"We really aren't suppose to talk about it to the press." said Munger, "It's a very private matter. But in this case, it's Tommy Lee we're talking about and, honestly, fuck that guy."
Lee is best known for having helped poison the collective subconscious of an entire nation as the talentless asshead drummer of motley Crue. In more recent years Lee gained renown for spreading stupidity as a famous person who keeps appearing on television for no discernible reason.
When this reporter asked Lee what he planned to do after this horrible personal tragedy the rocker responded, "AAAAHHHHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHGGGGG!!!!! WHYYYYYYYY!!!" And then proceeded to shit on himself and cry like a bitch.
posted by Louis at 6:44 PM
1 comments
