I get to put this in your ass

For fans of the 'Chicken Massacre' post. This is the new Fecal Management System by Convatec. We're getting these at the hospital. It's basically the same exact thing as a Foley catheter except it goes in your poop shoot.

Notice the size of the balloon at the end of the tube. Imagine having one of these in you, forgetting that it's there and walking away from your bed, which this thing happens to be tied to. Imagine that balloon coming out when you aren't ready.

Feeling uncomfortable? Good. My work here is done.

Personally, I can't wait to get a patient who has one of these and a Foley. Then I can hook the Foley bag to one side of the bed and the FMS bag to the other. Fucker won't be going anywhere unless it's okay with me.

Why? Because fuck'em. That's why.